Why Me, God?

Before God formed you in the womb, He knew you. Even though He did not choose to present you to the world before now, God created you in the beginning, as a crown of his creation.

No one can take the place God prepared for you in this world. That is true for you and for everyone else God creates.

Your life is a walk to God. You have a call, and your call leads you to Him. Only you can determine how rich in God's love your life will be for you and for the world.

Even though he came from circumstances in which no one could have imagined that he would become a Catholic deacon, Deacon Michael was a Catholic deacon with every fiber of his being. Since he has had several miraculous cures attributed to his intercession, he may one day be declared a saint by the Catholic Church. This is a long process which cannot even begin until the end of 2024. It may take decades or even centuries, if its occurs at all.

But his beginnings did not point to a life of service dedicated to God and His Catholic Church. It was God’s grace that made that change.

Parenthetically, Michael was considered a candidate for the diaconate even before he was a Catholic. “God works in mysterious ways his wonders to perform.”

Comments by Laura Weston, widow of Deacon Michael

IF YOU LIKE, READ ALONG AS YOU LISTEN:

As I've said many times, I'm a convert. I was one of those converts that I didn't go through a lengthy process of thinking about it and all. And it was literally: one minute I wasn't Catholic, and the next minute I was absolutely convinced and have remained convinced ever since. I was Catholic. That was the end. It was one of those.

But, there was a restlessness about being Catholic. I felt like: "Okay... what else? What is there for me?" And in fact my very first confession I went to the priest and we did the confession part and we were talking and I said, "I feel like there's something more."

And unfortunately most of the priests at that point knew me pretty well, and basically he said, "Michael, don't worry. There's something more." And I’m going, "Wait a minute. I'm in confession, but okay. That's all right. There is something more."

And so I did a lot of things in the Church. I did everything I could possibly volunteer for: I did Bible Study, I was an usher, I did... whatever. I didn't do Extraordinary Minister but that's another story.

But it felt like that was something more. And finally, you know, people were saying, "Well, why don't you check out the diaconate program?

So I went to the diaconate program and went through it for a while, the initial screening out part, and I went, "Pshaw, this is not for me." And so before they even got the point where they chose people, I said, "I withdraw. I'm not interested." A lot of reasons.

Two years later I come back to them again and said, "I think I might be ready." And so I went into the program. And very quickly it became evident that, "What in the world am I doing here?! These are a bunch of really good people! What am I doing here? I'm not nearly as good as they are."

And so my wife and I decided. Both of us have somewhat of an abrasive personality on occasion, and we were going to just simply be ourselves and if we were lucky, they would just kick me out.

Well, they never did. And we just kept on acting as ourselves. And one of times I cross examined and humiliated one of the teachers because he was an idiot. You know, I didn't really hold it back.

And my daily prayer was, "Why me, Lord?"

And I could never come up with an answer. I said, "Thy will be done. Kick me out! I don't belong here! These are wonderful guys!"

We started out with a class of 22 or 23 and we ended up with a class of 11. So they kicked out a lot of people.

And we're coming up on ordination, and, for a variety of circumstances I had a man come to work for us who I had known for years, an attorney. And I liked the guy, so I gave him business to do, and he messed it up completely. And so, the week before ordination I was told that I had to appear in federal court because the federal court was looking at removing my ability to practice law in the federal court for a period of a year. And my "friend" had told them, that it [the deception of a client, the failure to provide even the minimum legal services required, the misappropriation of funds] was all my fault…

[Every piece of advice and counsel from Michael was documented and it showed that Michael had persisted in telling the attorney what needed to be done and when. Michael was ignored and/or countermanded in everything, and Michael himself was the victim of theft of funds and services by this other attorney. The other attorney lost his license permanently.]

…So I am preparing to be ordained. I had my last confession (before ordination) and I said, "I have this one problem. It's called forgiveness. Let me describe that to you.” He's now a bishop and he said, "Yeah, that's a problem."

And I learned what it meant to forgive. Because honestly, after a lot of prayers, I could forgive him.

I'm going, "God, are you teaching me lessons?"

Then at the same period of time, I got into Parkland Hospital (the county charity hospital). And I've told you Parkland Hospital stories. I probably saw 1300, 1400 people who, if the estimates were correct, died, at the latest, a year after I met them. Wonderful, absolutely wonderful people.

And then, one woman I met, I don’t know, she must have been in her early thirties, obviously [since] she's at Parkland Hospital, she's poor. She's a minority. She is sitting on the side of the bed and she has a cage around her ribs because that's the only way she can sit up. So I'm talking to her and she says, "I'm feeling down. I'm really feeling down. I survived breast cancer, but this cancer of the spine, I just can't handle it. It's just overwhelming." And so we talked for quite a period of time, and I look at her, and she was one of those women, if she walked into the room right now and started smiling, everybody would go, "What a beautiful smile!"

And so the Holy Spirit comes along and says [through Michael], "You know, maybe this isn't the right time to say it, but you have one of the most beautiful smiles I’ve ever seen in my life. That is God's gift to you. It is wonderful." And she says, "My momma always says that, too. She says I have a beautiful smile."

That was the right thing to say. At that point in time it was the Holy Spirit that was saying that. There are times that when we deal with people the Holy Spirit will tell us what to say, the Holy Spirit. And you're gonna go, "Why in the world should I say that to this person? This person who is dying, who is in agony? She's in a lot of pain."

"You know, you have a beautiful smile." You go, "What's going on?"

And then you get into this situation when you're in a parish. Oh, we deacons and priests have the same problem. When we're ordained, we're something special. And we get the privilege to preach. Now, over 2000 times later, eh, I have a different perspective on it. So I go to Mary Immaculate Church because my good friend Fr. Bradley is there. And I give my first homily. And we were in the basketball courts. [A new church was being built.] And we're up in the front, awkward position. We process out. I go over towards the door out to the parking lot. I'm going, "That was a good homily." Inside, I have to admit, I said, "I got a good homily."

And this one guy comes out and he is one of the ones that always leaves before the song is finished. In fact, he leaves when the procession is there. And he is going out, and I am full of myself as a deacon, and as he is going by he says, "Great homily, deacon."

I’m going, "Hey, look at that. I'm getting recognition.”

[He says] “Short. Just like I like it."

God was talking to me. God talks to us constantly. I look now, and I look back on "How many hours could I have slept, nice and comfortable in my bed had not Fr. Michael (Forge) not liked morning. And that you guys kept on coming to the communion service.”

But my point is, not me, I thank God for Purgatory, and I am hoping I can get into Purgatory, because I certainly don't belong going straight to Heaven. But the reality of our lives, and mine, I think, may be concentrated because of the diaconate, the things that I've experienced, we know that everything that we experience in our lives is a way to make ourselves holy.

But we also know that God puts in front of us... I mean look at those two... why in the world, sixty-seven years ago, did she look at him and say, "That's the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, and how in the world did he get that lucky?"

How do we experience these things that are God's grace?

So what happens, and I really believe this, is God comes up to us and says, "Mayve, I want to make you holier. And I'm going to let you look at your first grandchild." Mayve says, "Oh, that's absolutely fantastic." And she takes him in her arms, and you understand he's only two or three hours old at that point, and this little blob of ectoplasm smiled at her. God made him smile at her.

At that point she goes, "Oh, what a wonderful experience!"

In our lives that's what we experience in so many different ways. And we always have to be willing to experience God by taking Him into our lives. But by experiencing God, by taking the opportunities that he places in front of us, and to see in Him these experiences that He has given us, or gives us the opportunity to have, he is giving us the gift of guiding us towards spending all eternity with him in Heaven.

July 9, 2019 2